I wanted to share...

One of my first posts on the new blog Standing On Peace. If you haven't had a chance to check it out, be sure to go visit. There are some wonderful posts and a book give away each week this month to celebrate the launch.

You mean I'm not as bad as I think I am? Part One - Recognizing negative self-talk

As long as I can remember I have struggled with negative self-talk and condemnation. Never believing I was good enough. The simplest mistake would start the tape rolling. “I’m stupid, bad, a failure, I shouldn’t have ever tried.”

It only got worse once I became a mom. Fear of “doing it wrong” plagued my mind. Almost every time I lost my patience or the situation was difficult, I would hear “you never should have become a mom, what were you thinking?! You weren’t meant for this!”

By the Grace of God and being intentional with my thoughts my negative self-talk is a lot quieter. It still pops up from time to time but it no longer has control.

What is negative self-talk? It is self-blame. Self-condemnation. Self-limiting messages. Breaking this habit is possible, though it takes effort.

Some common negative thoughts:

• I’m not good enough.
• I’m ugly.
• I’m too fat/tall/short/young/old.
• I’m stupid.
• I am not lovable.
• I am a bad parent.
• There is something wrong with me.
• I never have enough time.
• I don’t deserve …
• I can’t …
• I’m a failure.
• I’m not worth it.

Negative self-talk can be automatic. Often we aren’t even aware our tape is playing.

Do you experience negative thoughts? The first step in changing negative self-talk is recognizing it.

The second step is discovering what triggers it. Over the next few days pay close attention to your thoughts. Is there a tape of negative self-talk that starts when you are upset, frustrated or something has gone wrong?